Can I use collaborative divorce or mediation regardless of which state I file in?

Yes. Both Connecticut and New York recognize divorce mediation and collaborative divorce as out-of-court ways to resolve a divorce, so the choice of a non-adversarial process is available in either state. What differs between the two states is the underlying legal framework and some of the procedural details, not whether these options exist. Choosing mediation or the collaborative process does not lock you out of either state’s courts for the formalities — in both states, a judge must still review and enter the final divorce judgment — but the substantive negotiation happens outside of court in both.